Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • New governors are taking office all over the country.  There’s Brown in California, Cuomo in New York, and Scott in Florida, just to name  three.  The election in November was called a gubernatorial election, so why are the new officials called governors, not gubernators?

  • I got a new cell phone, one with a touch screen.  Now, where do I get some inhumanly skinny fingers so I can type accurately on it?

  • Other than to promote the sale of cell phone chargers and USB cables, why do we have more than one kind of mini USB plug?

  • They’’ve agreed to go forward with a universal cell-phone charger in Europe.  How come we can’’t have the same thing here?

  • I know what caused five-thousand birds to fall out of the sky in Arkansas:  gravity.  The real question is why they died.  Plus, I’’m more worried about what happened to the hundred thousand fishes now sleeping with the fishes.

  • While I’’m at it, why do they spell Arkansas that way, and since it ends in “s” is there another one? And since they spell and pronounce Arkansas the way they do, how come they do pronounce the last “S” in Kansas?

  •  “S” is the most common consonant in the English language.  Consequently, the “S” key on a computer keyboard frequently wears out before anything else.  You can get a new keyboard for a desktop very inexpensively, but how old does a laptop have to be before fixing that problem doesn’’t make any sense?

  • A man in North Fort Myers, FL was arrested after he threatened his neighbors with a club when they looked at his Christmas lights.  Then why put up the Christmas lights if you don’’t want anyone to look at them?  And would it surprise you if I told you that law enforcement officials said alcohol was involved?

  • When the National Weather Service issues a blizzard warning, what are they warning the blizzard about?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.

2 thoughts on “Things I Want (Or Need) To Know”

  1. My friend Richard (not Feder) of New Jersey (not Fort Lee) is saying I’m wrong, based on this obscure reference to hot metal type. He’s saying that “s” is the third most common consonant and that the “t” key ought to wear out first if my reasoning is correct.

    As I usually do, I sit corrected because standing corrected makes it that much more difficult to type.

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