Things I Want (or Need) to Know

According to the NY Post, the daughter of actors Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna caught them, “Skinny dipping in the nude.”  How else would you do it?  And where did the expression skinny dipping come from anyway?  If I went swimming naked, I’m pretty sure that would be fat dipping.

As near as I can determine, a head of cabbage costs around 75-cents.  So, why did a pint of cole slaw cost more than $6.50 at my wife’s favorite deli last week?

When you were a little kid, bawling your eyes out, did your mom or dad ever say, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.”?  Mine did, and I never understood that.  I already had something to cry about.  If I didn’t, why would I be crying?

In my endocrinologist’s office, the doctor got to talking about the islets in my pancreas.  I asked him if he was referring to the islets of Langerhans (they produce insulin).  He said yes.  So, my question is why do I remember that, but not the name of anyone I met on Saturday?

My next appointment with this doctor who treats my diabetes is the day before Thanksgiving.  Do you know what that means?  It means I can have two deserts on Thanksgiving Day.

Have you ever watched Tyler Hoover’s Youtube channel?  He’s hit on a very successful format, but I just don’t get it.  He buys used cars, generally old but interesting ones, apparently without having them checked by a mechanic, or negotiating the price.  Then, he hoons them, still without having a mechanic find any defects that might be dangerous beforehand.  Plus, in honing them, he often breaks something.  Finally, he takes them to his mechanic, gets an estimate on repairs, and decides whether to keep or dispose of them.  I just don’t get that. Do you?

Nathan’s, the hot-dog restaurant, has a store in Oceanside, NY.  In the store window, last month, there was a big poster advertising their “New York Cheesesteak.”  What the hell is that?  What do the folks at Geno’s, and Pat’s in Philadelphia think about it? Do you suppose either Gino’s or Pat’s will start selling Coney Island hot dogs in retaliation?

On my phone, but not on my computer, Google has been pestering me to enter my birthday into my account profile.  Why?  I’ve been getting along with Google for years without giving the company my birthday.  Plus, Google knows where I was on February 11, five years ago, so doesn’t Google already know my birthday?  Almost every other website I visit seems to know it.

Dos Equis beer did away with their ad campaign featuring the most interesting man in the world something like five-years ago.  Do you remember any ad they’ve run since?

From Governor to Governor

Lieutenant Governor of New York may be the second-highest elected office in the state, but it’s not an important office, unless the governor leaves office during his (it could he her too, but it won’t be until next week) term.  Right now, it is important because Governor Cuomo has resigned after being charged with a whole bunch of sexual harassment.

Unlike the Vice President, it’s not even clear that the Lieutenant Governor can break a tie vote in the State Senate.  I found one instance, dating back more than 110 years, where the Lt. Governor thought he could break a tie on a procedural vote, but not on legislation.

The current Lt. Governor, Kathy Hochul, admitted in her first speech after Cuomo said he was going that she and Governor Cuomo aren’t close.  I read somewhere that she said she and Cuomo hadn’t spoken since February.  And stepping into the role of Governor isn’t a guarantee of political success.  Mario Cuomo was Lt. Governor, and so was Herbert Lehman, going back many decades.  Each was a successful Governor and Lehman went on to serve in the US Senate.  But each of them was elected to succeed a governor who left office.  They didn’t ascend mid-term.

In my lifetime, Malcolm Wilson, David Paterson, and soon Kathy Hochul succeeded or will succeed to the office.  Neither Wilson, nor Paterson was regarded as a particularly effective governor, and neither was elected in his own right.  Hochul has already announced that she will run for the office next year.  I’ve heard some political analysts say that will put a damper on other Democrats’ ambitions.  I say, no, it won’t.  It will draw more Republicans out of the woodwork since the GOP candidate won’t be running against a long-term incumbent with millions in his war chest.  However, since Paterson and Wilson didn’t win election in their own right, there will be other ambitious Democrats eager to challenge Hochul too. 

Both houses of the New York State Legislature are controlled by Democrats, but many of them are to the left of Hochul on policy, so it remains to be seen how they’ll get along and who among New York Democrats may emerge to challenge her.  Bill de Blasio is term-limited as Mayor of New York City.  He’s making noises like a gubernatorial candidate, but whether he runs remains to be seen.

Even when I don’t agree politically with one of our elected leaders, I wish them well, because no matter who holds the office of Governor, I live here too.   As the old saying goes:  May you live in interesting times.  In New York, it looks like we’re about to.

Governor Cuomo Gone

Damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. In resigning, Governor Cuomo pleased a lot of women, but he also angered some including my wife, Saint Karen. Why the anger? He scheduled his televised resignation speech to pre-empt “Days of Our Lives.”

On the plus side, soon-to-be-former Governor Cuomo doesn’t have a wife who had to stand next to him while he made the TV speech, pretending not to be appalled.

Things I Know

In New York State, Secretary to the Governor isn’t a job for a secretary. It’s the highest-ranking appointed administrative position in state government. Gov. Cuomo’s secretary, Melissa DeRosa, resigned last night. The State Assembly’s Judiciary Committee meets today to discuss impeaching the governor. His resignation or impeachment seems very likely now to me. Today might be a good day for Cuomo to step down. It’s the 47th anniversary of the day President Nixon left the White House, having announced his resignation to avoid impeachment in a televised, nationwide address the night before.

The major-league baseball team in Cleveland recently announced that it is changing its name from Indians to Guardians.  Too bad the baseball team didn’t Google that name.  There is already a Cleveland Guardians Roller Derby team, and it owns the website Clevelandguardians.com.

The current stream of so-called information urging people not to get a COVID 19 vaccine and to not wear a mask is a liberal plot to kill off all the most extreme conservatives.  At least that’s my theory.

My house is almost 120 years old.  When it was built, attached garages were illegal, because cars caught fire way more often than they do today, and because horses stink. 

My detached garage is falling down.  That’s not surprising really, it looked like it would fall down decades ago when I bought the house.  It doesn’t meet the local building code and probably didn’t meet code when some previous owner put it up.  Of course, that is if there was a building code way back then.  I want to tear it down and build a new one that does meet code and does look like the house.  To do so, I had to hire an architect and a contractor, get building permits, and go before the municipal site review board.  Because of COVID, because I procrastinated, and maybe other reasons too, this process has taken about a year.  So far, I have about $4,000 invested in the process, but there is progress.  The site-review hearing was Tuesday night.  It took about five minutes.  The site review board said my plan was nice, and reserved decision.  No questions.  So, either my architect did a splendid job of preparing documentation, or the hearing was a complete waste of time for such a simple project.  Possibly both, but definitely the later.

One of my friends brought up the topic of alchemy recently.  So, I said it is theoretically possible to turn lead into gold.  However, to do so would cost a lot more than the current price of gold and said gold would be radioactive for a very long time.

My shoulders hurt, and I have to do something about it.  But I’m dragging my feet.  Why?  The orthopedist I go to only wants to deal with one joint at a time.  I have two shoulders.  Each has the same two problems:  they were reinjured after I had rotator cuff surgery to repair them (one at a time of course); and I have a compressed disc in my spine.  I believe the compressed disc contributes massively to the pain I’m feeling.  Maybe I’ll tell the doc that not only am I a pain in the neck, I have one too.

Amazon makes a big deal about its customer-directed charity contributions through Amazon Smiles.  Any amount is good, but each contribution is pretty small.  Since I signed up for Amazon Smiles, my donations are averaging about 22 cents per purchase.