Things I Want (or Need) to Know

The Saudi government Friday gave its version of what happened to Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in Turkey almost three weeks ago now.  Did you hear it?  Did you believe it?  For me, that’s a yes and a no.  In that order. 

Did you see Kanye West at the White House?  I saw the video.  I can act as unhinged as anyone.  When do I get my private audience with the President?

Election day is barely more than two weeks away.  Most candidates pledge to work to lower taxes.  I vote for candidates who pledge to lower taxes.  So, how come my taxes never go down?

There’s a series of commercials for RXBAR on TV, featuring rapper Ice-T.  They are memorable commercials, but did you notice what the spots were selling?  I had to Google them to find out.

Lost and Found

My wife and I have a symbiotic relationship which has two major components:  she’s adorable, and I adore her; I lose things, and she finds them.  Except sometimes in the lost and found department, neither of us finds what I’ve lost, and rarely, I find it.  I don’t find it because she asked me where I had it last.  She does that frequently.  It’s one of the few things about her that annoys me, because if I knew where I last had my lost object, it wouldn’t be lost.  Would it?

I used to have an old bookshelf stereo system.  For the last few years,  it languished in my garage, getting dirty.  I dragged it out and wiped it off for college reunions.  We set it up in the lobby of the dorm our class stayed in, and I used it to play music popular during the time we were in college.  I was a deejay, both on radio and in a local disco, in my college days, and have enough songs from that time to play them for the whole three-day weekend without ever repeating one.

Our most recent reunion was in June of last year.  I brought the stereo, and the music, as I always do.  But the stereo was broken.  The volume control no longer worked consistently.  The unit had a remote control too.  Would that work reliably to set the volume?  I couldn’t know, because I couldn’t find the control. 

At the end of the reunion, rather than lugging it home, I gave the old stereo to the current students who had helped herd we old, cranky alumni around.  Not too generous of me because as I said the unit was old, I never used it, and it was broken.  Some students, especially at a university with an engineering school, are capable of fixing what was wrong with it, so they were happy to have it.

Why do I bring this up now?  I found the remote yesterday.

Things I Want (or Need) to Know

My bank charges a significant premium on the exchange rate when I purchase foreign currency from it.  If I charge a purchase in a foreign currency, my credit card company adds a much smaller amount to the exchange rate when  converting that purchase to US dollars.  But the credit card company and the bank are the same company.  Why do you suppose they do that?

I have an even number of feet, and an odd number of socks.  How did that happen?

When you fly British Airways, does the captain sit in the right-hand seat in the cockpit?

Why does the outside of a toilet get so dirty?  Nobody I know tries to dirty the outside of one.

Why is it that when I sneeze, I almost always sneeze three times in a row?

Have you had your flu shot yet?  I got mine yesterday and you really should.  Two years ago, my wife and daughter had public-facing jobs.  I don’t.  I got a flu shot.  They didn’t.  They got sick for a week or so.  They gave it to me too, but I got sick for only two days.