Weiner’s Wiener

 

Yeah, I had to comment on this, but at least I spelled Weiner right, and wiener too.

It appears to me Congressman Anthony Weiner is ignoring any advice he’s receiving with respect to crisis-management PR.  Either that or he’’s doing just the opposite of what he’’s been advised to do just because he likes to be contrary.  He’s clearly made matters a lot worse by handling it about as badly as possible.

I don’’t believe the chick who received the now famous crotch shot is his mistress.  If I had a mistress, I know I wouldn’’t want her to be 3,000 miles away.

On the other hand, I do know, with certitude, whether there are any crotch shots of me in existence (there are none).  Furthermore, I would expect a US Congressman to keep better track of that sort of thing than I do.  So, Congressman Weiner’’s behavior has made me think the picture of a cotton-covered bulge is of Congressman Weiner’’s wiener.  By the way, his PR people didn’’t advise him to use the word “certitude.”  If they thought about it, they advised him not to.

I’’d say “on the other hand” again, but I don’’t have three hands.  I have no idea whether he posted the picture on twitter, but he could have.  Congressmen, especially New York Congressmen do strange things sometimes.  I give you Rep. Lee and Rep. Massa as examples.

If I were Rep. Weiner I would have gone with the truth, or a plausible story that could not be proven false, gotten it all out at once in hopes the story would only last through one news cycle, apologized for what I did, what I didn’’t do as well, and then attempted to move on.  I’’d say something like, “Hey, I was a single man until I married last year at age 45.  There could be inappropriate pictures of me floating around.  I don’’t know, but if there are, I regret them.  I didn’’t send the picture in question; my Twitter account was hacked.  I’’m turning the whole matter over to the appropriate law enforcement authorities.  And, while I didn’’t send the picture, I do apologize for all the commotion it has caused.” 

Bill Clinton survived in large part because he’s likeable.  Eliot Spitzer didn’’t survive because he’’s not likable and his public persona made what he did seem extra hypocritical.  Weiner is closer to Spitzer than to Clinton on the likable scale.  But he is a Democrat, and Democrats are much less likely to resign over something like this than Republicans are, because Republicans generally seem more hypocritical to their constituents when they eschew family values.

Only time will tell whether Congressman Weiner is kicked out of THE House or his house, or which one happens first.  But if either of those things happens you’’ll hear about it on the 24-hour Weiner’’s wiener cable TV channel.

And I haven’’t called this Weinergate because I’’m really sick of adding “gate” to the end of words to create a “clever” name for a scandal.  A lot of adults don’’t know anything about Watergate because it happened before they were born.

 

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.