Things I Know

  • Labor Day can only be one day later than it is this year.  People usually don’t get interested in elections until after Labor Day.  The NY State primaries are a week from tomorrow.  With eight days to go, I predict very little interest in these primary elections.  Part of that is the calendar, part of it is the only interesting race for Democrats is the race for the Attorney General Nomination.  Part is the only statewide office Republicans seem to have any chance of capturing is Comptroller.

  • I couldn’t believe it.  On the Friday before Labor Day and the TV show “Extra” was billboarding a story on what Jerry Lewis’ next project is.  Next, they’ll be telling us the sky is blue and water is wet.

  • When I was young, lots and lots of people watched Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day telethon and it wasn’t the only telethon around.  Now, I find that hard to explain.  Jerry and his telethon have raised millions and millions of dollars for worthy causes, but the show is very inexpensively produced, full of mistakes since it’s live (or at least large parts of it are), and I find it boring.

  • I think a woman tried to pick me up at the beach the other day.  Nobody tries very often, so I’m not sure.  She came over and said she wanted to say hello because she came there often and saw me there frequently too.  It was my second time ever at that beach, but I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I didn’t tell her that.  I’m both too heavy and too married for someone to pick me up easily though, so I spoke with her for a minute or two and then I left.

  • Nude beaches need, but don’t have, editors.  I wasn’t at a nude beach, but that thought occurred to me because I was at a beach.

  • On a beautiful, sunny afternoon at the beach, I miss listening to Dan Ingram on the radio more than I do the rest of the time.

  • Talk about a guy being trapped.  They held a prayer vigil for those miners trapped in Chile and one of the trapped miners wives showed up.  So did his mistress.

  • My wife usually finds the things I lose.  But she lost my keys to one of our cars.  However, she didn’t lose any points doing that, because she found them too.  They were in the tote bag she carried when we went to the hospital to get my shoulder fixed.  I drove there and she drove home which is why we had my keys as well as hers on that trip. 

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.