Things I Know

  • The people of Bell, California had every right to be outraged at last night’’s city council meeting over the enormous salaries that the city manager, police chief and part-time city council were being paid.  However, there would be no need for outrage if the people of Bell, California had been properly vigilant in the first place.

  • Tony Hayward is out as head of BP, by “mutual consent” according to the announcement.  We had mutual consent when I was on the radio too; the boss said, “”You’’re fired,”” and I said, ““If that’’s the way you feel about it, I don’’t want to work here anymore.””

  • I used to think I was obnoxious, but nobody ever paid me anywhere near $18 million to get lost.  Not only would I have gone away for much less, I have.

  • The Wall Street Journal reported a list of the executives who earned the most money in the decade.  However, since there was no year zero, the decade isn’’t over until December 31 of this year.

  • I just got an e-mail from a concert venue in Florida, Ruth Eckerd Hall, telling me how to log on to my account.  Okay.  I went to Ruth Eckerd Hall once for a concert and I had a good time; my wife enjoyed it too.  But it was years and years ago, maybe nine. 

  • My nose isn’’t itching enough today, so I’’m going for an MRI.  If they’’ll play the music I bring, I pick Gregorian chant.  It’’s calming and soothing and the lack of any strong beat counters the awful racket the machine makes.

  • The last time I went for an MRI on my shoulder, the tech told me to stop moving.  I told him I was just breathing and if I didn’’t need to breathe, I wouldn’’t need the MRI either.

  • When the Mets lost seven of nine on their disastrous, just concluded road trip, I thought perhaps they had been assimilated by the Borg.  But then they lost two more and now I’’m not so sure.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.