Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • How did my empty garbage can wind up on the curb?  I don’’t think the wind blew it there.  And if the guys who collect the garbage don’’t leave the cans in the street, two to three feet from the curb, they’’ll get fired.

  • Explain this if you can; I know I can’’t.  I left my home in the morning, drove south on a two lane road to the nearest traffic light and stopped because it was red.  I activated my left turn signal to indicate that I intended to turn left when the light turned green.  A woman in a big, black SUV headed south toward the light on the same road.  My car is easy to see; it’s big too.  Yet she stopped to my left, headed south in the northbound lane.  I couldn’t see if her turn signal was on, but I really hoped she didn’t plan to turn right.  The light changed and she turned left.  Whew.  She didn’t expect me to turn with her because she turned into the extreme right lane.  She was in such a big damned hurry that she went one block and parked.  I proceeded to the nearby neighborhood deli, parked and checked my turn signals to see if they were working; they were.

  • The Marriage Ref:  didn’’t the prime time Jay Leno show teach NBC that to succeed, a comedy show should be FUNNY?

  • Someone on TV advised me that I would want to stay glued to my television set.  I never wanted to be glued to my TV set in the first place, so why would I want to stay glued to it?

  • I should have thought of this myself, but former radio personality Dick Summer did.  How can you possibly go to rehab if you’’ve never been to hab?

  • If you’’re out of context, where do you get more?     

  • Charlie Rangel stepped down temporarily as chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee.  I can’’t recall anyone stepping down from a committee chairmanship in Congress temporarily and getting it back.  Can you?

  • If super model Naomi Campbell’’s behavior is as bizarre as news reports, and police records would have you believe, my daughter wonders if it’’s because she’’s hungry all the time.

  • I’’ve noticed that the titles of many popular songs are in the form of questions, so when I want to pad my Things I Want (Or Need) To Know blog items, I will, from time to time, use one of those song titles beginning with this one:  Why don’t we do it in the road?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.