Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • I mean some of these things as jokes; this one is no laughing matter.  Bruce Pardo must have been terribly troubled and imbalanced to create that appalling Christmas massacre in California.  When someone is so disturbed they want to kill themselves and a bunch of other people, I’’d hope they get psychiatric help, but whenever one of these things happen, I wonder why killing themselves isn’’t enough for people like that. 

  • I’’ve never bought anything from a TV infomercial, but I’’ve often wondered if you call later, instead of calling right now, can you still get the special deal?

  • Why does it rain more on weekends?

  • Why does most windy weather happen when you have to put the garbage out, or after the light-weight can and the light-weight lid are separated from the heavier garbage?  There’’s an idea for a product:  weights for plastic garbage cans and plastic-garbage-can lids.  I wonder if you could patent something like that, or if someone already has.

  • Getting up at the crack of dawn is overrated.  What’’s wrong with bouncing out of bed at the crack of noon?

  • Instead of signing all the most expensive baseball players, why don’’t the New York Yankees bail out General Motors?

  • Which is bigger, egantic or ginormous?

  • Takeru Kobayashi, the guy who made a name for himself by winning hot dog eating contests at Nathan’s of Coney Island, failed in an attempt to set a new world record for eating fruitcake.  I didn’’t know fruitcake was edible, did you?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.