Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • Did Joe Scarborough perform a necessary public service this week on his MSNBC program, or did you already know which word “the f word” is?

  • The National Toy Hall of Fame has named the stick as one of this year’s inductees.  I’m not kidding!  How would you differentiate between a toy stick and a real one?

  • Polka dots:  why are they called that?  Does it have anything to do with dancing or accordions?

  • Is bombarding people with unwanted e-mail an effective way of selling stuff?  I took my wife to a nice restaurant last month.  They have a rewards program.  If we joined, they’d give us a ten-percent discount on the bill, so we joined.  Now, we get at least one e-mail from the restaurant per day.  Yes, I’ve added them to the filter that dumps selected e-mail into the junk mail folder.

  • I know I’m admitting to being older than a teenager when I ask this, but if you know what pismatology is, or the meaning of either the pompatus or the puppetuse of love for that matter, get in touch, please.

  • Has any individual ever used every function of a top-of-the-line Swiss Army knife?

  • Did you ever wonder why there are no holes in Swiss Army knives or in Swiss steak?

  • “Into,” one word.  “On to,” two words.  How does that make any sense?

  • Why is orange the only fruit named after a color?

  • Did you know you can play solitaire without a computer?

  • I don’t know if they still do, but the NY Times used to run personal ads in the regional sections on Sunday.  I didn’t see this recently, but it’s still stuck in my mind.  Only in a NY Times personal ad would a man describe himself as “ursine.”  I know that means bear-like, but doesn’t it really mean big, fat and hairy?

  • Are you as sick of teasers on TV newscasts as I am?  “Governor Patterson’s proposed state budget cuts, how will they affect your property taxes?  Coming up.”  Uh, your property taxes will go up?  I think I’m going to banish those things to a new cable TV channel and call it The Obvious Channel.

  • For less than $200, I bought a portable hard drive that holds 500GB of information.  Do you know how much that is?  The package says it will hold 120,000 songs.  I have around 6,000 now.  I’d better get busy downloading.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.

1 thought on “Things I Want (Or Need) To Know”

  1. “For less than $200, I bought a portable hard drive that holds 500GB of information. Do you know how much that is? The package says it will hold 120,000 songs. I have around 6,000 now. I’d better get busy downloading.”

    Prove or refute the following theorem:

    “If you buy a new hard drive whenever there is a significant price reduction, it will be impossible to fill it with downloaded music.”

    For example, you can now buy a 1.5 TERABYTE hard drive for $150. Can you download enough music, given your time constraints and internet bandwidth, to fill it before a two or even three TB drive is available for about that price?

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