Things I Know

My wife’s birthday was on Mother’s Day this year.  It happens once in a while, but I never noticed until the year after we had our first child.  But I knew what to do, because when I was 16, the girl I was dating celebrated her birthday one week before Christmas.  When two gift-giving occasions come close together, separate presents are what you need, not one combined gift.

I haven’t been paying close attention, but from what I have read and heard neither Johnny Depp nor Amber Heard have done much to improve their public image during the current trial.

There’s no need to experience Europe ever again.  On Sunday, I filled up my Nissan Frontier pickup.  It cost $75.31!  And gasoline has gone up again since then.

When I started out in the job market, gasoline cost about 25 cents a gallon. As a teenaged driver, I though gasoline was cheap. Over many decades, my income went up due to inflation and to me acquiring additional skills. So gasoline is 20 times more expensive than it was back then. Over that time, my income went up more than that. I certainly don’t think gas is cheap anymore, and I don’t know anyone else who thinks it’s cheap either.

Speaking of how upside down the economy is, last week we paid a dollar a pound less for sliced roast beef at the deli than for sliced turkey. Who doesn’t remember when turkey was an inexpensive choice?

I was able to fix the top rack on our dishwasher the other day, without any help. I was also able to get up off the kitchen floor without any help, but that took longer than fixing the dishwasher.

We just got a marketing mailer from an investment house. It congratulated me for being among the wealthiest Americans. Now, my wife thinks I’m holding out on her. Both wrong!  Fact is, I don’t have enough assets to qualify to invest with this particular company.  Sometimes, you just get on the wrong mailing list.

Author: Tom

I know by ABC's, I can write my name, and I can count to 100.