Things I Know

  • Once upon a time, I could care less about hockey.  Then I realized the implications, so I did care less.  Now I couldn’’t care less about hockey, so I voted no on the $400 million bond issue to build a new Nassau Coliseum as home for the NY Islanders.
  • At Houlihan’’s restaurant in Westbury NY, there’s a sign pointing to “additional parking for Houlihan’’s” and that additional parking is closer to the entrance than any of the other spaces are.

  • There’’s an ad on TV, seeking plaintiffs for a lawsuit regarding surgery using trans-vaginal mesh.  The announcer says the phrase “trans-vaginal mesh” several times and each time he does, I can’’t help thinking of the musical round we used to sing when we were kids.  It went, “George Washington Bridge, the George Washington Washington Bridge.”

  • While painting the inside of my house, I’’ve been watching a lot of true crime stories on TV.  But I hate suspense, so as soon as they mention the murder victim’’s name, I put it into a search engine to see whether they’’ve caught the killer.

  • Here’s an update on my plans for a band called, “Flu-like Symptoms.”  We’’re going to be really, really bad.  That way, I can be the lead singer and that way, when someone says they’’re suffering from flu-like symptoms, everyone will think it’s us.

  • Glucose is not just a sugar, it’’s also a carbohydrate and all carbs are important to diabetics, not just glucose.  This is true because most other carbs convert to glucose to one degree or another in the body.  If you look at sugar-free foods, that can be misleading.  Many of them are higher in carbs than foods with sugar.  Some of them have sugars other than glucose in them.  I saw a sugar-free iced tea powder that was loaded with dextrose and dextrose is a sugar.  I got an ice cream freezer, thinking I’d make sugar free or lower sugar ice cream.  A lot of the so-called sugar-free recipes I found called for agave nectar and that has more fructose in it than high-fructose corn syrup does.

  • I think they still have push-to-talk cell phones, but I haven’’t seen one in a long, long time.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.