Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • Have you ever seen something less than a whole shebang?  I’’m talking about a partial shebang or a segment of a shebang or are shebangs indivisible?
  • The boys who were signed up to go to Boy Scout Camp with our troop next week cancelled out.  How long do you think it would take the camp to notice if the scoutmaster, and I went anyway, without any kids?

  • Do you need a lot of upper body strength to run fast?  I only ask because world-class sprinters, and hurdlers all seem to have heavily muscled chests and arms.

  • How many cable TV channels would go begging for programming if Bill Kurtis (who narrates a huge number of documentary and true-crime shows) ever decided to retire?

  • The strawberry ice cream we bought last week contains “strawberry swirl” rather than strawberries.  I’’m guessing strawberry swirl is cheaper than strawberries, even now, when fresh strawberries are in season.  My question is why are they allowed to call it strawberry ice cream if it doesn’’t have any strawberries in it?

  • I have an ice cream freezer.  Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade strawberry ice cream?

  • When did they stop calling them grammar schools?  I think they stopped calling them that because they stopped teaching grammar in them.  I received an email note from my beloved niece yesterday.  In the note she used the words “I” and “me” consistently wrong.  And she’’s not in grammar school.  She’’s going to graduate from a storied Ivy League institution in December.  If you have the same problem, I is a subject, me is an object.  I did something.  Something happened to me.  Easy, see?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.