Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • Five days before their scheduled wedding, Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner, 85, announced via Twitter that his fiancé, 25-year-old Crystal Harris had a change of heart and the wedding is off.  If those two crazy kids can’’t make it, is there any hope for the rest of us?
  • Was the whole thing a publicity stunt?  She did back out when it was too late to change the July issue of Playboy which features her, semi-nude on the cover, as the new Mrs. Hefner (or so I’’m told).  I read that the magazine now has a “Runaway Bride” sticker on the cover.

  • I didn’’t tangle up my 100-foot–long outdoor extension cord before I put it back in the garage, so how come it was tangled when I got it out again?

  • If I did tangle it up before putting it away, would it be tangle-free when I needed to use it again?

  • Blinds to Go is a chain store that makes blinds and other window coverings to custom fit your windows.  I’’ve bought a lot of things from them over the years.  I guess they don’’t have appointments at Blinds to Go because while I’m punctual, not many other people are.  However, when dealing with Blinds to Go, the waiting time is horrendous so, couldn’’t we at least call ahead to be put on the waiting list the way you can at Outback Steakhouse and a lot of other restaurants?

  • Why did Rep. Anthony Weiner hold a news conference to resign?  It was bound to be impossible to control.  He could have just sent a letter (which hadn’’t been received as of noon the day after the news conference) or resigned on a Youtube video.

  • I don’’t have Sirius or XM.  Did Howard Stern use any of the questions he sent an idiot member of his staff to that news conference to yell on camera on his show the day after?

  • Have you seen a map of New York’s ninth CD?  It would astound Elbridge Gerry!  And why would anyone want to run in a special election there, since it is rumored that the current ninth CD will be eliminated when they redistrict for the 2012 Congressional election?

  • Why is there confusion about Elbridge Gerry’’s name?  He was a pretty famous guy:  gerrymandering was named after  him and he served as a member of the Continental Congress; delegate to the Constitutional Convention; signer of the Declaration of Independence; governor and U.S. Vice President, but I’’ve also seen his first name spelled “Eldridge.”

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.