Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  •  I wonder if I can get my wife, Saint Karen, to find the hour I plan to lose tonight?
  •  Did you hear about this study?  Then shouldn’t I be a lot healthier than I am?  The guy who came up with that study must have been in a lot of trouble with his wife or girlfriend when he thought of it.
  • If gasoline keeps going up as fast as it is these days, how soon will it be before someone comes out with a car that runs on computer printer ink?
  • Where does the tooth fairy get all the money she leaves under kids’ pillows in exchange for their baby teeth?  I’ve never heard of her having another job, have you?  And she’s not on the new Forbes Magazine list of the richest people in the world.
  • Supposedly, we have illegal immigrants or undocumented aliens (depending on your political viewpoint) because they do jobs Americans don’t want to do.  So, how come they don’t serve on jury duty?
  • You can’t get prune juice by squeezing prunes, can you?
  • If people want low sodium food, I have no problem with providing it, but isn’t salt the idea behind pretzels, potato chips, French fries and salt bagels?  Making those available with reduced salt is fine with me, but why have they stopped making the kind with a lot of salt?
  • This blog is produced using Word Press software.  Does anyone know if there’s a way to eliminate drafts (other than weather stripping, I mean)?  If there is, I can’t figure it out and I have two draft blog items I’d rather delete than publish.
  • National Ravioli Day is March 20th.  So, perhaps someone can explain to me why a restaurant in Naples FL is celebrating on March 21st.
  • Homonyms are words that are spelled and pronounced the same, but mean different things.  Ripe is a homonym.  If something smells ripe, its spoiled and not fit to eat, but if a fruit is ripe, that’s the best time to eat it.  How do you tell what the meaning is?  Context.  It’s been a long time since I took grammar.  Is there a name for words that sound the same, but are spelled differently and mean different things?  I think the people in charge of English should eliminate all but one of those words and let context tell you which of the multiple meanings the one word left carries.  I think two, too, and to are the most common examples, but I was reminded of this by compliment and complement.  I knew the two meanings and the two spellings, but I have to look them up to be sure which spelling goes with which meaning.   What’s the point?  Why don’t we get rid of one and pick the other?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.