Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • Have you ever negotiated the intersection of Jericho Turnpike and the Cross Island Parkway in Bellerose, in any direction?  Who thought that intersection was a good idea?

  • You may remember that, ““Reach out and touch someone,”” was the signature advertising slogan of communications giant AT&T back in the early 1980’s.  I wonder if the TSA has to pay royalties to AT&T.

  • During this holiday season, can we at least let the operators who are standing by sit down?

  • Have you seen the TV commercial for Jarred Jewelers extolling the virtues of the Pandora Bracelet?  The product could be great, I don’’t know, but in my opinion, Pandora is a terrible name for a gift.  How would you like to receive a gift with a name associated with all the trouble in the world?

  • There’’s also a TV commercial telling you that you can now get a great deal on the Mercedes you’’ve always wanted.  Can I really get deal on a 300 SL gull-wing coupe from the 1950’s?  If so, I’’ll have a red one and a silver one thank you.

  • How did my children manage to grow to adulthood, when I haven’’t matured much at all?

  • If the leaves didn’’t fall, the trees would probably break under the weight of snow.  I know that.  But why do they have to fall in my yard?

  • Have you made out your Christmas list yet?

  • My wife told me she heard on the news that German scientists now claim that people who tell awful jokes are suffering from a mental disorder.  In the first place, I’’m not suffering from telling awful jokes; my wife is the one who suffers when I do that.  In the second place, she knew it from the very beginning, so why did she go out with me in the first place?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.