Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • Did Bristol Palin really dance to the song ““Mamma Told Me Not To Come?””

  • Why do sidewalks exist?  In my neighborhood, everyone walks in the middle of the street.

  • Why do we even have the term “correctional facility?”  It’’s eight syllables instead of one or two.  How ambiguous are the words “jail” and “prison?”

  • The sign in the window of the Frederick’’s of Hollywood store in the nearby shopping mall said, “Take an additional 50% off.”  I thought, “I’’m in favor of that.”  Then I wondered, don’’t you think that would be a great slogan to put on a T-shirt? 

  • According to their commercial, the New England Mint is selling two-dollar bills, two for ten dollars, plus shipping and handling.  Why didn’’t I think of that?

  • President Obama said recently that Republicans are treating him like a dog.  What’’s wrong with that?  Do you treat your dog well or poorly?  Many people treat their dogs better than they treat any person, don’’t they?

  • Criminally annoying?  I have no doubt that Snooki is annoying, perhaps even to the point of criminality, but the idea of criminally annoying seems very vague to me.  Where exactly is the line you have to cross to be criminally annoying?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.