Things I Want (Or Need) to Know

  • I’’m having ambulatory surgery next week.  Wouldn’’t it be easier on me and the doctor if I stayed still during the whole operation?

  • I was cruising the real estate listings and found one that said the property in question had a pedestal tub.  This prompted my wife to ask if it also has a claw-foot sink.  I think not.  The house is probably too new for that; a Jacuzzi sink, maybe.

  • I found another one that said the property’s master bedroom had two sinks and a separate tub and shower.   It didn’’t say whether the master bath had a king-sized bed, but I do wonder.

  • Sometimes homonyms raise questions.  I’’ve seen things that are so bad they could be considered wholly shit.  I could understand holey shit, especially if dung beetles have been at it.  But how would holy shit be any better than or different from secular shit?

  • Have you seen the Geico commercial with former major league pitcher Randy Johnson?  Apparently he does have a sense of humor.  I didn’’t hear of him displaying that when he worked in New York.  Did you?

  • What’’s the right way to pronounce Colorado?  I learned how to pronounce Nevada when I went there (not the way I’’d been pronouncing it, by the way).  However, even though I’’ve been there too, I’’ve heard Colorado pronounced two ways and don’’t know which one most people who live there use.

  • If there’’s Sunday Night Football, even exhibition football, can being cold be far behind?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.