Things I Know

    • This morning, the TV weather guy was talking about temperatures in the “low 100’s.”  Now, I like hot weather more than the next person, but there aren’’t any low 100’s.

    • Kendra Wilkinson, Hugh Hefner’’s former girlfriend, and reality TV star was on the Today show today.  She was so inarticulate she said “you know” twice in the same sentence.  So, I turned it off even though I don’’t know.

    • I’’ve confirmed something I’’ve suspected since I bought it a month ago:  it would be easier for me to wash out the bed of my pickup truck if I had a hill on which to do it.  I can, however, get the water out by putting the tailgate down, backing up fast and then jamming on the brakes.

  • I recently heard a college president on TV refer to something as “very unique.”  The only thing that is very unique is my pet peeve.  Very Unique is its name.  Unique doesn’’t mean rare; it means only.  With the lone exception of my pet peeve, there’s no such thing as very unique.

  • I just entered the Bulwer-Lytton writing contest, you know, the one for awful writing.  I figured I had at least a fighting chance.  But I received an acknowledgement from the contest for my e-mail entry.  The acknowledgement said, “Your submission has arrived and will receive the treatment it deserves.”  I was afraid of that.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.