Things I Know

I saw a woman shopping in Macy’s today.  The lower half of her body was covered only by a pair of shiny, magenta tights.  She was wearing shoes, but no skirt, no tunic, no leg warmers, just the tights.  It was not a good look for her.  Come to think of it, I can’’t imagine it being a good look for anyone.

It turns out drunk walking is dangerous too.

I saw the public TV broadcast of the 2009 Kennedy Center Honors recently.  One of the honorees was jazz musician Dave Brubeck.  On the show, they over-played “”Take Five”” to such an extent that I thought if that’’s why they’re honoring him, they’’re a little late.  Great song, but it came out almost 50 years ago.

There’’s a commercial on the radio about an improved thermometer for taking a child’’s temperature.  In the commercial the little kid says something like, “Mom, I hate when you stick that pointy thing in my ear.”  And I find myself thinking, “You’re sure lucky you weren’t a kid when I was.”

At least they’’re consistent.  The same people who thought mistakenly that the twentieth century and the millennium ended at midnight on December 31, 1999 also thought the decade ended on Thursday night, December 31^st. 2009.  They are wrong, of course, because there was no year zero.  However, I believe this is one of those situations where being right is no excuse. 

We made it through the holiday season without any Pfeffernusse.  Perhaps it’’s because I don’t know how to spell Pfeffernusse.  Neither, by the way, does MS Word’s spell checker.

Effective Monday, six weeks to pitchers and catchers.  Of course, the Mets need both, but that’’s neither here nor there.

I understand that Gasoline Alley was the first comic strip to allow its characters to age at a more or less natural pace, but Walt’’s one of the world’s oldest people now and Skeezix is pushing 90.  Phyllis died in 2004.  It’’s time to let someone else go.  Plus, there’s a crying need for new characters.  In my opinion the strip hasn’’t been reliably funny in many years.

In newspapers, comics have been shrinking to the point now where they’’re hard to read.  I’’ve taken to reading some of them on the Internet.  Even there, they’re too small.  But at least on the web, you can zoom in and make them big enough to understand.