Things I Want (Or Need) To Know

  • What was Tiger Woods doing at 2:25 AM when he had an auto accident while backing his car out of his driveway?  My daughter suggests he was leaving early to sign up for a good tee time at a nearby public course.

  • I’’m going to San Francisco, and with apologies to Scott McKenzie, I’’m not going to wear some flowers in my hair.  Is that alright?  I would wear the flowers, but I don’’t have any hair.

  • I bought a boxed set of Simon & Garfunkel CD’s.  You’’d think a big music company like Columbia would know better.  The set contains 5 CD’s with slip cases (not jewel boxes) that are replicas of the original vinyl album covers.  I don’’t mind the lack of jewel cases so much (and who called them that anyway?).  I don’’t even mind that the type on the slip cases is too small for a Simon & Garfunkel fan to read.  After all, the slip cases are mini-replicas of the actual 12-inch vinyl record covers.  But Simon & Garfunkel fans are likely to range from over 40 to over 60, so why did they make the type in the booklet that’’s included with the set too small for fans to read too?

  • And as long as I’’m on the subject of Simon & Garfunkel, by mistake, I typed it here as “Garfunkle,” but you can add Garfunkel to the list of names MS Word knows how to spell along with others such as Asimov and Mandelbrot.

  • A lot of the things we say when we’’re cursing don’’t make any sense.  If you really were a son of a bitch, you’’d be a puppy, right?  How is that bad?

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.