Things I Know

There’s no “a” in definitely.  There’s no “e” in Manhattan either.   Thanks to computerized spell checking, I no longer have to remember whether there’s an “e” in truly.  Good thing too, because I used to forget between the time I looked up and the time I went to write it down.  Do you have something that won’t stick in your memory?  That’s mine.

My wife and I are remodeling our kitchen and both bathrooms.  It seems to me that it takes between four and five months to complete a five-week construction project.

She’s in charge of stuff like whether we’re going to remodel, what kind of cabinets, appliances, floor covering, counters and wall color. 

I’m in charge of stuff like how deep is the bathtub, and whether the medicine cabinet will be surface mounted or recessed into the wall.  I decided surface-mounted and then I changed my mind.

In the same remodeling vein, I know that most toilets get moved only twice, when they are installed and when they are removed, but it would still be nice if there was an easy way to carry the damned things.

It doesn’t take much longer, but it does takes longer to cook rice in a microwave oven than it does to cook it on the top of a regulation stove and you still have to put it in water to do it.

Those hard things at the ends of shoe laces are called aglets, but they aren’t called that very often because most people don’t know what they’re called.

Growing older means having to explain stuff to adults.

If you live long enough, you reach a point where all prices are ridiculous.

Choice Hotels is running radio spots where they say if you stay with them, it relieves you of worry so you can worry about important things like why sheep don’t shrink in the rain.  Lanolin!  I learned that in grade school.  Now, I’ve relieved you of worry too!  And you don’t have to stay with me either, in case you were worried about that.

The aroma wafting out of a pizza shop when pies are in the oven is pretty special.  Come to think of it, the aroma of any kind of pie baking is one of life’s pleasant experiences.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.