Things I Know

My son got on a plane in Taipei just before 8:00 PM.  He flew to San Francisco where he arrived at a little before 3:00 PM the same day!  I’ve learned I don’t understand the international dateline.

Be nice to people.  It’s easier and more satisfying to start out nice and escalate to nasty than it is to start out nasty and back off to nice.

Loud does not equal correct or smart. 

Since I must be on time for all appointments, it’s a good thing I didn’t become a doctor.

George Washington wasn’t born on his birthday.  It’s true!   I swear!  I have no idea why I know that instead of knowing something that would make me a lot of money.

Never threaten anyone.  It spoils the surprise, and helps the prosecutor prove premeditation.

Most people shorten Murphy’s Law, thus leaving out an important piece of information.  The part they remember is:  “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”  The part they should remember is:  “and at the worst possible time.”   They should also remember Murphy was an incurable optimist.

I like those six-foot hero sandwiches delis make up for parties.  But I can never finish one.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.