Things I Know

  • Anyone who knows me and is nice to one of my children because of it gets special thanks from me.  So, thanks the gentleman who took ninety minutes out of his busy day last Thursday to talk to my son and give him some career advice.  I always liked the guy and his family.  I like him even more now and because we live 3,000 miles apart, we haven’’t seen each other in many years, but I think I’’d better make a trip to correct that oversight.
  • The most brilliant marketing award for August and probably for the decade of the tens goes to Abercrombie and Fitch which issued a news release last Tuesday saying they have offered to pay Mike Sorrentino, known as “The Situation” on the TV show “Jersey Shore,” not to wear clothing from their company.  It’’s brilliant marketing because it got a lot more press than paying him to endorse their clothes would have.
  • Teddy Roosevelt’’s daughter, Alice, was famous for saying, “”If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”  My grandmother would have said, ““If you haven’’t got anything nice to say about anyone, don’’t say anything at all.””  As of today, I’’m more inclined to follow my grandmother’s advice, but I bet Alice was a lot more fun than granny.
  • Because I’’ve been painting the inside of my house, I’’ve spent more time moving my hammock so I could mow under it this summer than I have relaxing in the hammock.
  • The philosopher George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to fulfill it.”  If that’’s true, then President Obama ought to study President Carter.   A good man, although misguided in some issues I think, Carter is widely regarded as a much better former President than President.  Why?  Because he wasn’’t a strong leader.
  • I told my wife that if she ever says to me:  ““Honey, I’’ve got something to tell you, but I can only tell it to you on the Jerry Springer Show,”” I’’m not going on the show with her.
  • Here’’s a way for a bike rider to get him or herself killed, but with the caveat that it’’s not 100 percent reliable.  I was headed south on Rte 111 in Islip.  A kid was riding his bike north in the southbound lane, not on the shoulder.  He flashed me what I assume was a gang sign and gave me the choice to stop or run him over.   I stopped, in traffic, on a state highway.  I already had an accident recently.  Having demonstrated his power over oncoming traffic, the kid swerved to pass me on the passenger side of my truck.  At the same time, the idiot in the Suburban behind me decided to pass me on my right.  The kid narrowly escaped becoming a bike-rider sandwich without mayo, mustard or ketchup—and when I say narrowly, that’’s exactly what I mean.
  • Here’’s proof some people have too much money.  It’’s a good TV show, but come on, $700?  And you thought I was going to complain about the 1957 250 Ferrari Testa Rossa prototype that sold for $16.39 million at the Pebble Beach auction Saturday night, including commission.  No, that seems perfectly reasonable to me.

 

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.