Things I Know

  •  I’’m beginning to think that President Obama wasn’’t born at all, let alone born in Hawaii.
  • Not only do you have to pay your income taxes by the middle of April (usually the 15th, but this year the 18th), but the middle of April is also when I have to start mowing my lawn.  Wild onions start growing prolifically long before that, which wouldn’’t be so bad except that they’’re not edible.
  • Sometimes, when you can’’t sleep, there’’s an unusually good movie on late-night TV.  Saturday night into Sunday morning, there was ““Bedazzled,”” the original with Dudley Moore and Peter Cook, not the awful remake.  If you haven’’t seen it, watch it.  If you have seen it, watch it again.  I’’ve seen it many times and I pick up something else funny every time I do.
  • Like many cell phones you can buy today, mine is also a powerful computer, a camera and several other things I can’’t think of right now.  I set it up to use my home Wi-Fi network.  The instructions say that using it that way shortens the time before your battery needs to be recharged.  They aren’’t kidding.  I should probably plug it in if I use it that way.
  • Diversity at work:  in my local Waldbaum’’s supermarket, the two African-American ladies in front of me in the checkout line bought two boxes of lasagna noodles and two boxes of matzos.
  • Notwithstanding what it says on the supermarket receipt, I remain unconvinced that I really saved $28 on only 16 items at the supermarket.
  • Speaking of supermarket receipts, I find them very confusing.  If soda is on sale for 99 cents a bottle, the market should ring it up for 99 cents, not for $1.89 with a 90-cent credit somewhere further down the bill. 

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.