Things I Know

  • With Thanksgiving this Thursday, it’’s time for me to share my recipe for roast turkey.  Remove the giblets, wash the carcass, blot it dry and season it to taste.  Stuff the bird with un-popped popcorn.  Put the turkey in a pre-heated, 350-degree oven, and baste it every 15 minutes with Wild Turkey whiskey.  When the bird blows up, throw it away and drink the gravy!  Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone.

  • Ours is the only family I’’ve ever heard of that does this and it comes from my mother’’s mother.  If you put whipped cream on pumpkin pie and think it needs a little something else, try this:  spread a generous layer of Damson plum jam on the pie and then slather on the whipped cream.  I won’’t eat pumpkin pie any other way.  I won’’t eat Damson plum jam any other way either, but I will eat whipped cream entirely without provocation, and either by itself or by myself.

  • As long as we’’re talking about my grandmother as a cook, she used to make plum pudding for special occasions, but no occasion was special enough to get me to eat the nasty stuff.

  • Here’’s the latest genius idea from Tom’s kitchen:  Lipitor-chip cookies.

  • The woman in Boynton Beach Florida who was arrested for trying to hire a hit man to kill her husband—.   According to an interview question on the Today show, the loving couple met when he hired her as an escort.  I’’d consider that one strike against a rewarding life-long union.

  • The St. Petersburg FL, Times reported that there are over 700,000 licensed drivers in Florida who are over the age of 80.  I hope I can drive safely when and if I reach 80 years of age, but at some point, senior citizens ought to have to take another driving test.

  • I like old-time radio.  I remember the few shows that were still on in the late 1950’s, but I like a lot of it.  I’’m a little behind the times because I realized only the other day that iTunes has a bunch of old-time radio podcasts.  I haven’’t reviewed all of them, but the ones I have seen are free.  So, I downloaded all the “X Minus One” shows.  It just seems a little odd to hear an old-time radio show sponsored by Carbonite On-Line Back Up, a company and a service that didn’t exist when the show was first aired.

  • Big Bird is 75 years old.  Well, the puppeteer who plays him is.

  • I borrowed my friend’’s spirit level to hang a towel bar in my bathroom.  Borrowing his didn’’t help me find the one I lost.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.