Things I Know

  • The supermarket near my home had a sign explaining one of their policies.  It included the line, ““Sorry for the inconvinance [sic.].””  In the bakery of the same supermarket, they had a super-sized cookie for sale on which was written the message, “”Super Ball XLIII.””  Maybe it’’s some sort of world-famous dance and I’’m the only person who hasn’’t heard about it.

  • Today is Super Bowl Sunday.  I don’’t care.  I don’’t even watch it for the commercials.  Tomorrow is Ground Hog Day.  The official ground hog, Punxatawney Phil, always sees its shadow at the appointed time because of TV lights, so we still have six weeks of winter to go.  However, Baseball Spring Training starts in two weeks and gasoline prices are on the rise, therefore warm weather must be near.  Keep the faith!

  • My house is nearly finished.  I have a little spackling to do and some staining.  I have to build radiator covers too, but I’’m really close to done with what I started last June.  Whew!

  • I’’m not trying to be a chauvinist, a feminist, or any other kind of “ist” here except a pragmatist.  If a plane crashes or needs emergency evacuation for any other reason, I don’’t want to hear about “women and children first,” the way we did when US Airways Flight 1549 ditched in the Hudson River.   Preferences slow down the evacuation process.  Of course, if anyone is injured, disabled or a child too young to fend for itself, help them.  Don’’t leave them to die.  Otherwise, I want whoever is nearest the exit to get out so that the second person can get out and so on.  That’’s the fastest way and the fastest way is the only sensible way.

  • Nobody likes criticism, but everyone wants to know where they stand.

  • If you are making a speech and you say, “”So in conclusion,”” or anything else that coveys the idea you are wrapping it up, say one more thing and either take your seat or open it up to questions.

  • When I was a teenager, I made two mistakes:  I thought I was the only person that awkward; and I thought I’’d get over it.

  • It is a good thing that different people like different things.  Otherwise, there would be shortages and really long lines.  And, as punctual as I am, it’’s still unlikely I’’d be at the front of one of those lines.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.