The Internet Hammock

I have to admit I was pretty busy until I started traveling last month.  Then I was traveling and now I’m back.  My luggage arrived home too, although not on the same plane.  Based on the amount of spam I’ve been receiving from the airline I used, they must think (incorrectly as it turns out) that I was happy they lost my luggage.  I wonder what kind of terrorist threat my suitcase full of dirty laundry posed.  TSA must know:  they searched it.

The demolition crew is inside my house tearing apart the kitchen, putting unwanted holes in the dining room ceiling while tearing apart the bathroom and doing associated other things that demolition crews do, and undo.  That leaves me without anything to do but lie in the hammock in the shade in the back yard.

It sounds restful, doesn’t it?   Well, it would be, but out of curiosity, I activated the laptop I bought last January, and discovered that the wireless network I installed in my house does work in the hammock.  I have a hammock with Internet access!  I can rest and waste time or rest and work or rest, waste time, and work at the same time.  Let’s see, the electrician says he’s coming tomorrow.  If he does show up at the appointed hour, do you think I can get him to install a couple of outlets by the hammock?  If an electrician actually shows up at the appointed hour, does that mean he’s incompetent?  I think one outlet for an outdoor fridge and one to charge the laptop ought to do it, don’t you?  Then, cold, or inclement weather will be my only motives for motivating.

Actually, there is one thing I have to do that can’t be achieved while in the hammock.  I have to move the watering hose so all of my tomato, and blueberry plants survive until August.  I suppose I could use my cell phone and call an irrigation company to install appropriate sprinklers.  Then, I could wait until August to move.  The blueberries never make it into the house.  I eat them while I’m mowing the lawn. Once I have tomatoes and not just tomato plants, I can get up, grill a hamburger, array said burger on a toasted bun or better yet, a toasted Kaiser roll, adorn it with sliced onion, ketchup, one gigantic slice from a sun-warmed home-grown beefsteak tomato and sprinkle lightly with NaCl. The only way heaven could be better than that is if I could prepare and eat that culinary creation while reclining in my hammock, without getting it all over myself and the hammock.


Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.