The David Ortiz Boston Red Sox jersey that was buried in the concrete at the new Yankee Stadium, and then dug up sold for over $175,000 recently to benefit the Jimmy Fund.  Said fund is a Boston-based cancer charity.  I hope the guy who thought up that PR stunt got a big raise.  It got a lot of coverage and did some serious good.

What?  I can’t be the only person who thinks that whole thing was staged. 

Megan Fox is the sexiest woman in the world, at least according to FHM magazine.  She’s certainly a very pretty young woman, at least according to the pictures I’ve seen.   I don’t believe I’ve ever met any of the women on that list, although my son was in the background in a picture of Paris Hilton that got published in a Las Vegas newspaper last year around this time.

Still, it strikes me as odd that all of the 100 women on that list published in FHM are actresses, models, or both.  All of them appear to be young.  All of them range from well known to famous, and from well-to-do to rich. Do you mean to tell me there are no sexy female nuclear scientists, or medical doctors, or hair dressers, or prostitutes, or stay-at-home moms with 18 kids?  I bet there are.  To quote two of the leading intellectuals on National Public Radio, “BO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-GUS!”

So, this is a list of pretty, well-known and relatively wealthy young women and not a list of the 100 sexiest women in the world.  After all, how would you determine the world’s 100 sexiest women?  Would you have a contest with Eliot Spitzer, a couple of professional athletes, rock stars, and Charlie Sheen as judges?  Would you vote on it?  Would the voters have to prove that they’ve had personal experience with the sexiness of the women they’re voting for?  How would they do that, exactly?  Spring break locations around the world could vie with one and other to hold the contest.  What a boost for tourism.

I’ve got an idea along the lines of Jonathan Swift’s “Modest Proposal.”  For those who are victims of a modern education, that means my idea is satire.  How about we have nominations like the baseball All-Star Game with the participants selected by the fans?  Then let’s have a performance exam, similar to the idea behind a third-year law school student’s mock trial.

Seriously, all lists of this type are PR stunts, and no list of this sort is definitive.  In addition to the fact that to be on the list you have to already be well known, the contents have a lot to do with who picks the list and how badly their ax needs grinding.  I don’t think anyone’s list of the top 100 films of all time has “Baby Mama” on it, or “Soylent Green” either.  Mine does have “Casablanca” though, and “Miracle on 34th Street” too.  I love that film.  Your results may vary.

The contents of such lists also have a lot to do with how old you are.  My daughter’s list of the top 100 songs of all time would undoubtedly contain something by Marilyn Manson or Bif Naked.  Mine would have “Wind,” not the Jesters’ version either, the one by Nolan Strong and the Diablos.

Author: Tom

I know my ABC's, I can write my name and I can count to a hundred.